Eveyone says you should keep a journal. (I suppose a blog counts, though it has some differences.) I noticed a while back that I would pick up my journal to write after some time had gone by, and it would invariably be around a month since I had written last. An entire month -- gone. Talk about "saving your life"! -- writing things down preserves the memories, which is all we end up with from this life. When I don't write it down, I'm sure it still influences me (for good or bad), but I don't remember it. If it was really important, I could hope that the Holy Ghost would "bring all things to my remembrance," but maybe that's only as I lay dying and my life flashes before my eyes. That isn't much use to me NOW.
So with the blog: I have many ideas and thoughts that I could write about and develop. Where to begin? I also have tons of work and projects to do. Where to begin? I was trying to figure that out (for this blog entry), and it occurred to me that I have already begun (in so many ways): my birth, my marriage, my family, my work, my service, my writing, my prayers, my path. I can't begin, so much as recommence, rededicate, recommit, renew. Maybe that's because there is no beginning, just as there is no end. How can you define a point (and why bother trying) when it is, after all, meaningless?
This is a huge ahah! experience for me. Seriously! I have been constantly looking for something momentous, memorable or meaningful to pin my thoughts, efforts, or plans on. Even the 7 to the power of 7 idea hinges on something clever or cute that I can use to justify the new direction and/or new system. It's related to the linear quality of goals: once I mess things up, I have to find a new hook for myself -- I want a pristine piece of paper for writing my life. But this is all forgetting the eternal and spiral nature of our existence. In always remembering that truth, I can be liberated as well as strengthened and inspired. Where to begin? Wrong question. I've already begun, and need only keep moving forward.
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Thank you! I have been trying for years to put into words the way I set goals. I have always said to myself, "I will do better than last time." meaning that it is okay to have messed up or even to mess up again sometimes. I guess I have always just been re-setting my goals instead of starting over. You are brilliant!
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